Archive for February, 2010

Neglecting Child

Thursday, February 25th, 2010

For parents, the child is the most important part of their lives. Most of the parents shower lots of love, care and affection on their kids knowing how important it is for children to get the best from their parents. But not all parents are like that. Some parents show clear signs of child abuse in different forms. For them, paying attention to issues of children care is not so important. Some parents do it because of lack of time and some other because of lack of consideration. Whatever the reason is, it is a sign of bad parenting that can dangerously affect the growth of the child.

When a child faces neglect and rejection from his parents, he goes into a shell and to get his due iota of attention, he starts behaving badly. He goes into bad company and subsequently, every aspect of his life from family, education to social life gets adversely affected. Even as adults when we see no concern from our close ones, we feel so neglected and hurt. Imagine, if this is being done to the kid, how would he feel? How would he cope?

 Sometimes, parents while trying to be overprotective or overly vigilant, treat child in a harsh way. They assume, this is the only way to keep the child disciplined. But that’s a totally wrong approach. Using terms like worthless, good for nothing or burdensome for your own kid is just too wrong. Even asking the teachers to use harsh physical discipline if the child misbehaves is far from any definition of good parenting. Also, what’s the point of blaming child for every misfortune incurred upon the parents? There are just too many behavioral and attitudinal displays of bad parenting. Parents should carefully think about these facts considering the dire consequences of such actions.

unhealthy eating

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

With the advent of technology and more means of entertainment available at home, kids are bereft of enjoying outdoor activities. The sedentary style not only leads to overweight but the kids are also not stimulated mentally. When grades fall or they fail to gel in a social circle, parents begin to worry. The root cause may be several. The idiom ‘You are what you eat’ holds good in many ways.

As an adult suffers from a chronic health problem, she is advised to refrain from certain habits and control her diet. The natural result is revival and with it there is a step-up in daily functioning. Staying active surely helps in metabolism. A similar lifestyle has to be adopted right from childhood so that a good diet helps the child to grow mentally healthy.

 Serving a pack of chips for the mid recess break in school is a very easy option but try to include a brown bread sandwich. All kids love dips be it melted butter, chutneys or the unavoidable sauce. The result is it becomes habitual. Often parents who are working full time find no time to cook. It is true that a laborious full length course meal is out of the question but then one can always get the kids to help you out with the soup or salad.

 The jars of cookies or the frozen packs seem to get replenished easily but at the same time the unhealthy lifestyle becomes a part of you. Kids are unable to concentrate in their academic pursuits and teen diabetes, menstrual problem or lack of concentration is keen problems owing to nutritional deficiency. For a healthy mind, exercise for children can be as subtle as yoga or as cardio vascular as a skating lap.

Unhealthy eating also lowers your immune system whereby kids develop rashes, dry skin or allergies related to eyes. Along with the same the biggest problem are soft drinks or artificial colored syrups which the kids slurp up. Though an occasional preference is a part of growing up, parents need to check on curbing their own health hazards so that the kids emulate your standards.

 

Rashes, valve blockage, blurred vision; dental decay is certainly caused by junk food eating.

Effects of Divorce on the Child

Monday, February 15th, 2010

Divorce is a painful process for marriage partners and more so for the child. It’s a traumatic experience for the kid. Many a times, a bitter battle goes on between the parents for the custody of the child. If not handled properly, this whole experience can leave a permanent scar in the psyche of the kid. Parents should always focus on certain things while going through the process of divorce.

Quite often, parents while going through the bitter and bruised occurrence of divorce, forget to consider child’s well being. Children are held accountable for the mistakes committed by the parents. That’s definitely a sign of bad parenting. Remember, a child after all is just a child. He has yet to develop a sense of his own. He learns things by looking at his parents and their behaviors. His meek eyes will silently observe irresponsible behavior of the parents and soon, he will start going haywire. It’s hard to have your heart full of love and affection during the long drawn battle of divorce but at least, parents can be sensitive and caring about child’s needs of care and love.

One should never push kids to talk about the divorce. Why would one want to play with wounds of divorce? There is no point asking for his opinion or feelings because the answer is pretty much obvious. Yes, he is hurt and longs for seeing both his parents together. People should also refrain from talking negatively about his parents. It’s a bad idea. One of the major signs of bad parenting is when a parent jumps into another relationship and expects kids to accept that person immediately. Trust me; it’s a very frustrating experience for the kids. Remember, a child is very sensitive about what goes in the house and between his parents. Treat the simmering issues carefully.

Behavioural Child Abuse

Friday, February 5th, 2010

Every other day, we come across some news of child abuse. On the face of it, child abuse is one of the most heinous crimes. Child abuse can be of different types; physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse or emotional maltreatment. In this article we will talk about signs of neglect and emotional abuse in children.

Identifying of child abuse can be done through several signs displayed by the child. One of the prime signs is when child starts showing sudden changes in his behavior or school performance. It can be because of some maltreatment being meted out to him in his home. When parents start neglecting child or stop caring about him, child begins doing things that can attract attention of his parents. Child needs to feel important and no one does it better than his parents. But when parents themselves start ignoring kids because of any reason, child finds a lack of adult supervision and shows signs of sudden behavioral changes.

In case child does not receive any help for his medical or physical problems that would definitely come under the category of child abuse. When a child is overly compliant or withdrawn and always appears watchful, it’s definitely sign of child abuse. The symptoms of withdrawal can occur because child is not getting adequate attention from his family members and especially parents. Sometimes, child also shows learning problem which has no connection with any kind of psychological or physical disorder.

Lack of good parenting is amply demonstrated by the kids through several behavioral signs. One of them is coming to school early and staying late. The causes of this behaviour can range from lack of love from parents to poor treatment received by him at home. Child abuse is a serious issue that must be given all sort of attention. Remember, when you neglect a child, you are also neglecting a bright future and potentially a good human.

Comparison

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

Most of us want to get to a desirable solution rather than working towards it. This happens in parenting too. Much as we negate it, it is natural that we expect certain things from our children. Unknowingly we have certain concepts and expect a behavior or attitude from our child. It is the need of the hour to accept that a child may be a product of our genetic make up and yet influenced by some many external habits that make him or her ‘personality’.

Personality of a person enhances with each interaction, contemplation and opportunity. Just as we adapt to a change of job, relocate for better living and also mature with additional responsibilities, children too mould themselves accordingly. Two kids may share a birthday and yet their interests or progress can be varied. All of them are performers but the victory stand can house on three winners.

With time, care and coaching children get to the arena, adjust and before we adjust they are happy with their own contribution. It is important to give them space, lot of love and understand their aspirations. Actually there is nothing that they cannot do. Only sometimes it takes them more time. Siblings develop a complex and once we start comparing them, they lose out on their self esteem. Constant nagging about hygiene, tidiness, homework and fine art performance depletes their mental confidence.

 I actually had believed that my daughter does not have the artistic bent in her when connected with drawing or painting. So I never boosted her in the sphere. Once her hand was fractured and doctors advised her rest from other sports that I got her into an art class. Under the able guidance of the drawing Sir and our encouragement she improved and today is a very good artist. Her skill is improving and she proved that I was wrong.